幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】
【 #能力训练# 导语】大多数小朋友都喜欢听故事，如果是英语故事的话，不但可以在听故事的同时学习英语知识。下面是 分享的幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】。欢迎阅读参考！ 1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一 The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。 He hid his gold under a tree。 Every week he used to dig it up。 One night a robber stole all the gold。 When the miser came again， he found nothing but an empty hole。 He was surprised， and then burst into tears。All the neighbors gathered around him。 He told them how he used to e and visit his gold。 "Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them。 "No，" he said， "I only came to look at it。" "Then e again and look at the hole，" said the neighbor， "it will be the same as looking at the gold。" 守财奴 从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。 一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。 守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居他告诉他们那里原先有他的金块。 问明了原因后，一个邻居问：“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过，” 他说，“我只是时常来看看。”“那么，以后再来看这个洞，”邻居说，“就像以前有金块时一样。” 2.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇二 bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life. shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second timeescaped.it is wise to turn circumstances to good account. 一只蝙蝠坠落到地面上来，被一只鼠狼捉住了，蝙蝠哀求讨饶。鼠狼不答应，说它自己最爱和鸟类为敌。蝙蝠便证明它自己不是鸟，只是一只老鼠，因此鼠狼就放了它。 不久这只蝙蝠又坠落到地上来，被另一只鼠狼捉住，它同样地哀求讨饶。那鼠狼说它自己最恨老鼠，蝙蝠证明自己并不是老鼠，而是一只蝙蝠;因此，它第二次又安然地逃离危险了。随机应变乃聪明之举。 3.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇三 A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished. 乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。 他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。 他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。 4.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇四 Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write. One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn't happy. "Well," he said at last to me, "I'll put a tail on it and make it a monkey." He began to add the tail. I began to laugh. 翻译 迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。 一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。 "好吧,"他最后和我说,"我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!" 他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。 5.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇五 There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head. It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns. If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull. As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly. 一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上，挺立着一对粗大的犄角。 公羊骄傲地踱着步，看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。公羊斜着眼睛看看，便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去，想把篱笆撞倒。结果篱笆纹丝不动，它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。 假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话，那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去，甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去，直到头破血流为止。 结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住，进也不得，退也不得，只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。 6.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇六 Making His Mark A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword? 楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。 7.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇七 A little rabbit is picking mushrooms in a forest. A wolf is coming. He is very hungry. “Oh, a little rabbit! This is my favourite food!” 一只小兔子正在森林里采蘑菇，一只狼来了，他很饿。“哦，一只小兔子!这是我最喜欢的食物!” The rabbit sees the wolf, but she is not afraid. She pretends to be poisoned by the mushrooms. The wolf thinks, “If I eat her, I will be poisoned, too.” So he goes away. 小兔子看见了狼，但是她并不害怕。她假装吃蘑菇中毒了。狼想到:“如果我吃了她，我也会中毒的。”所以他走开了。 Then the rabbit is very happy. She goes on picking the mushrooms. 小兔子非常高兴，她继续去采蘑菇。 8.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇八 Wolf and egret The wolf mistake swallowed a piece of bone， very suffered， running about， look for to visit the doctor everywhere。He met the egret， and talk to settle the service fees to invite him to take out the bone， egret to stretch in the wolf's throat the own head， and the 叼 outs bone， then toward to settle the good service fees wolfThe wolf answer says:" hello， friend， you can since the wolf 嘴 take back the head in the peace ground， and the difficult way return the dissatisfied foot， and how and still speak the guerdon?" This story elucidation， guerdon badly person act charitably， and is a bad person of cognition and does not speak the reputation's innate character。 狼与鹭鸶 狼误吞下了一块骨头，十分难受，四处奔走，寻访医生。他遇见了鹭鸶，谈定酬金请他取出骨头，鹭鸶把自我的头伸进狼的喉咙里，叼出了骨头，便向狼要定好的酬金。狼回答说：“喂，朋友，你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来，难道还不满足，怎样还要讲报酬？” 这故事说明，对坏人行善的报酬，就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。 9.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇九 Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. " This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong. 翻译：站在屋顶的小山羊与狼 小山羊站在屋顶上，看见狼从底下走过，便谩骂他，嘲笑他。狼说道：“啊，伙计，骂我的不是你，而是你所处的地势。” 这故事说明，地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。 10.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇十 The Crow and The Pitcher A crow felt very thirsty. He looked for water everywhere. Finally, he found a pitcher. But there was not a lot of water in the pitcher. His beak could not reach it. He tried again and again, but still could not touch the water. When he was about to give up, an idea came to him. He took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher. Then he took another and dropped it in. Gradually, the water rose, and the crow was able to drink the water. 口渴的乌鸦 一只乌鸦口渴了，到处找水喝。终于，他找到了一个大水罐。 然而，水罐里面的水并不多，他的尖嘴够不到水面，他试了一次又一次，都没有成功。 就在他想放弃的时候，他突然想到一个主意。乌鸦叼来了一块小石子投到水罐里，接着又叼了一块又一块石头放进去。 渐渐地，水面升高了。乌鸦高兴地喝到了水。 寓意：有些东西虽然看起来微不足道，但如果积少成多，便会带来很大变化。
英语幽默小故事5篇
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。 更多故事相关内容推荐↓↓↓ ★经典安徒生童话故事★ ★真实感人的故事★ ★中国历史寓言故事★ ★三国演义经典故事★ ★中外著名儿童故事★ 英语幽默小故事1 Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother. Why not? If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already. Everything that can be invented has been invented. 别捡地上的钱 一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。 “为什么不捡?” “假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。” “该发明的都已经被发明出来了。” 英语幽默小故事2 The Less You Know, the More Money You Make Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make. 知识越少挣钱越多 定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。 下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明： 假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。 假设二：时间就是金钱。 每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。 因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。 结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。 英语幽默小故事3 They Should Be Playing at Night A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night." 他们本该在晚上打球 神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。” 英语幽默小故事4 A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance. 一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。” 英语幽默小故事5 Even My Driver Can Answer that Question A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture. The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it." 甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题 一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。 司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。” 英语幽默小故事相关 文章 ： ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集7篇 ★ 幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇(2) ★ 英语幽默小故事汇总大全 ★ 英语幽默小故事四篇 ★ 英语小故事5分钟幽默 ★ 英语幽默小故事带翻译精选 var _hmt = _hmt || []; (function() { var hm = document.createElement("script"); hm.src = "https://hm.baidu.com/hm.js?8a6b92a28ca051cd1a9f6beca8dce12e"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(hm, s); })();
英语幽默小故事
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。 他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。 他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。 “他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。 “再给你两分钱。 可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。 这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。 他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。 如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。 这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。 过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。 你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了. A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"且话偻蚰昴?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 1,Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。 谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 2. The Fish Net "Can you tell me what fish is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 " 小女孩回答道。 3. The New Teacher Gee es from school on the first of September. "Gee, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 新老师 9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 "乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。 "妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。 " 4. A physics Examination Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his clas *** ates were thinking it hard. The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls? Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears. 一次物理考试 在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。 这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？ 尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。 Jim’s History Examination Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination? Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born. 吉姆的历史考试 舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？ 母亲：唉，糟透了。 可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。 嗨，他们尽问一些这个 可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。 Magic change 神奇变化 Gaga is a little duck. He is *** all, dirty and ugly. His friends don’t like to play with him. One day, Gaga walked behind his friends quietly(静悄悄地).But his friends did not want him. Gaga was very sad and ran to the river and cried loudly(大声地)。 Just then, a big beautiful bird heard(听见)him crying and flew down(飞下来，落下来). She said, “Please don’t cry. Tell me, what do you want? I can help you.” Gaga told the truth(真相). The beautiful bird said, “OK, I can help you to bee a good-looking duck.” Then she took out a blanket and put it on the duck’s body. She said something which the little duck didn’t understand. Then she took away the blanket. There stood (站立)a good-looking duck. Gaga was very happy. He thanked the big bird and quickly went to play with his friends
英语幽默故事
英语幽默故事三则 下面是网我为大家带来的英语幽默故事三则，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~ 1.Bragging 吹牛 Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off，“said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist." 三名著名的外科医生在吹嘘着各自的高超医术。其中一个说:“有个人切断了一只手，他来找我治疗，如今，他已成为音乐会的小提琴手。” That's nothing." said another.“A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on，and today that man is a marathon runner." “那有什么，”另一个不服，“有个家伙的`两条腿全断了，我给他接上了。现在这家伙是马拉松运动员。” "I can top both of you，"said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. ,There was nothing left but a horse's posterior---and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in the United States Senate. " “你们俩都比不上我。”第三个人说，“有一天，我被叫到一起事故的现场。当时那儿什么都没留下，只有一个马屁股和一副眼镜。现在那个人就坐在美国参议院中。” 2.Wrongly dressed 穿错了 I wanted to look especially nice when I valked my son to his first day of kindergarten，so I took the liberty of borrowing an outfit from my younger，more fashionable sister，who was staying with us at the time. We had agreed not to borrow from one another without asking，but she was asleep，so I slipped some shorts and a shirt out of her drawer silently，planning to put them back before she woke up. 在陪儿子上幼儿园的第一天，我想打扮一下自己。我打算从妹妹那儿借身外衣，她年径而且时髦。妹妹和我们住在一起。我们有约在先，不经过对方的同意不能拿别人的东西。但那时她仍在睡觉。于是，我从她的衣拒里轻径拿走几条短裤和一件村衣，本想趁她没醒来时再放回去。 To my surprise .she was awake when I got back, but she didn't mention the clothes. We chatted about Jason's introduction to kindergarten. Finally，she smiled and asked coolly，"And how did Jason's teacher like my pajamas?" 让我吃惊的是，当我送儿子去幼儿园回来后，妹妹已经醒了。但她没说衣服的事儿。我们聊了聊儿子吉森在幼儿园做自我介绍的情况。最后，妹妹笑着并不动声色地问:“吉森的老师觉得我的睡衣怎徉?” 3.Dating for mother 为母亲约会 When the young waitress in the cafe in my building started waving hello every day，I was flattered. She was at least 15 years younger than I. 在我工作的大楼里有间咖啡馆，那儿的女招待每天见到我都向我打招呼。我因此受宠若惊。要知道她至少要比我小15岁。 One day she waved and beckoned to me. When I strolled over，she asked，"Are you single?" 有一天，她见到我后，朝我招手示意让我过去。于是，我便走了过去。她问我，“你现在是单身吗?” Why，yes,"I replied，smiling at her broadly. “对，是单身。”我满脸堆笑地说。 " So is my mom，”she said.”Would you like to meet her?" “我母亲也是，”她说:“你愿意不愿意见见她。” ;
幽默简短的英语小故事
幽默简短的英语小故事 篇1 The Old Cat：An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇2 Everybody dreams of doing something important. As a boy Raymond dreamed of being a scientist,infact, he is a postman now. Raymond is an active young man. He livesby the saying“If you can't live the life you love, love the life you live”He greets everyone with a big smileand afriendly“Hi, howare you?”And he really wants to know! It's hardto feel unhappy when we hear him whistling happily up and down the street. 幽默简短的'英语小故事 篇3 Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar. "I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!""I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?" "Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. " "Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.“ "Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.” At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture. 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇4 A big一city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by the train, and wanted o be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check，the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success，telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man，but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!” The old rancher replied，"Well，I’11 tell you，young Teller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.” 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇5 One day, Robin Hood went hunting alone in the forest. He had told his men that if he should fall into any danger and could not escape he would blow his horn so that they might know and come to help him. When he was crossing a river by a long bridge he met a huge man at the middle. And neither of the two would give way to the other. Robin Hood got angry and put an arrow to his bow and made ready to shoot. The stranger said it was unfair for Robin Hood to shoot a man who had only a staff in his hand. Hearing this Robin Hood lay down his bow and pulled up a small tree and returned to the stranger. 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇6 A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master. "So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?" "40," replies the dog. "How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!" "I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up." 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇7 Many years afterreceivingmygraduatedegree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as afacultymember. One day in a crowdedelevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student. When the door finally opened, I felt acompassionatepaton my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," shewhispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇8 A newly married woman was sitting on a chair, looking vexed, when her husband came home. "What's up? Why do you look so troubled?" the husband asked. The woman replied, "I'm so sorry. I was ironing your new suit and burned a hole in your trousers." And the man said, "That's all right. I have another pair that is exactly the same." "Thank God you do. I used it to mend this pair," the wife responded. 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇9 A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you." 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇10 The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film. When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them, “you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund you the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husband asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?” “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered. “It’s not worth seeing.” “I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said. “Wake the child up and let him cry.” 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇11 A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator. Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!" 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇12 Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before ， so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane. His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes. After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?" "Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground." 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇13 A blind man was waiting to cross the road when his guide dog cocked its leg, then urinated on its owner. Calmly, the blind man reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog. A passerby who'd seen everything remarked: "That’s extremely tolerant of you, especially after what he just did.” "Not really，”came the reply. "I’m just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts.” 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇14 Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he re- quested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came run- ping up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” "Dear God! Did you try to stop him?" "No,”she said，"I did better than that! I got the license plate number” 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇15 A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give aseries of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For thetask, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highlytechnical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to theeconomist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I coulddeliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided toswitch places with him at his next lecture. The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some onein the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had noidea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, andthen replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it." 幽默简短的英语小故事 篇16 The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.” The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”
英语简短幽默的小故事有哪些？
Talkingclock\x0d\x0a会说话的钟\x0d\x0aWhileproudlyshowingoffhisnewapartmenttofriends,acollegestudentledthewayintotheden."Whatisthebigbrassgongandhammerfor?"oneofhisfriendsasked."Thatisthetalkingclock,"themanreplied."How'sitwork?"\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0a"Watch,"themansaidandproceededtogivethegonganearshatteringpoundwiththehammer.Suddenly,someonescreamedfromtheothersideofthewall,"Knockitoff,youidiot!It'stwoo'clockinthemorning!"\x0d\x0a一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0a这是第一篇~\x0d\x0aAmangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny",thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond",thenthemansays:"God,canIhaveapenny?"andGodsays"Inasecond"\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0a一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."\x0d\x0a\x0d\x0aFourbestfriendsmetatthehospitalsincetheirwivesweregivingbirthstotheirbabies.Thenursecomesuptothefirstmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottwins."Themansaid"Howstrange,I'mthemanagerofMinn
