英语小品
羊肉串和纳税人（英文小品）
Characters:
Mr. Shi, Xiaofu, Dabao
Mr. Shi: Tax is the major source of the fiscal revenue. There is an evident change about the relationship between the tax collector and taxpayer in the past 20 years. Now, the tax collector, Xiaofu, and the tax payer Dabao, a vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very change. The first Act happened in 1980s.
Act I
(in Bazaar of Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s)
Dabao: Yangrouchuan , yangrouchuan, eaten one ,want nine, eaten one, want nine.
Hi, Take my yangrouchuan.(slipped, take it up, )
Xiaofu: Tax! Pay the tax!
Dabao: (change faces)
Taxi? Where is the taxi? Here’s no taxi.
Xiaofu: Tax! T---A ---X!
Dabao: What’s the tax? I just know taxi! Do you want me to call a taxi for you?
Taxi----! Taxi----!
Xiaofu: Enough! Are you the vendor?
Dabao: No , No, No, no! I 'm just have a look. The vendor has gone to the toilet.
Xiaofu: Not the vendor ? Impossible! you 've been here for 2 hours.
Dabao: Really ? (Xiaofu: Yes, of course.)
How do you know it?
Xiaofu: The window of my office is open to here and I 've been looking at you for two hours.
Dabao: It’s a big bug!
Xiaofu: Oh. Don’t waste my time! Please pay the tax---- 10 Yuan!
Dabao: 10 yuan?! My god. I had just earned 20 Yuan one day! 5 Yuan, ok?
Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold more than 2 hundred ones.
Dabao: 6yuan, my dear sisiter.
7Yuan, my lovely beauty.
Dabao: Not for you ,not for me, let's split the difference. 8 yuan ,ok ?
Xiaofu: (looking around) All right ,a deal. But no receipt.
(Dabao payed 8 yuan and Xiaofu left)
Dabao: What a smart woman! Bad luck! I’m bankrupt. I have to change my place.
Hope I would not meet her any more! Let’s go!
Act II
Mr. Shi: The next scene happened in new century. China had been marching in the way of the market economy for twenty years more, in the new era of building the well-off society in an all-round way, how do the vendor regard tax as and how is the tax collected? The scene will tell you.
Let’s enjoy it!
(In the market; Dabao in white clothes ,a board with "NO SARS")
Dabao:: Yangrouchuan, yangrouchuan. Eaten one, want nine. Eaten one, want nine.
Xiaofu: Hi,
Dabao: Hi.
Two: What a familiar face.
Two: It’s you!
Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a tax collector.
Xiaofu: 10 years past, you still sell Yangrouchuan.
How is your business?
Dabao: Everything is OK!
10 years past, you are still beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing.
Xiaofu: 10 years past, you and your Yangrouchuan look more clean than 20 years before.
Dabao: Thank you. No SARS, no dirtiness; Serve people, serve me.
Xiaofu: Great! Have you……
Dabao: Married? I ‘m not married; I’m still single.
Xiaofu: Have you claimed your tax this month?
Dabao: What? Taxi? Oh, tax! Of course. I should pay the tax of 50 Yuan this month and I have claimed at the begin of this month.
Xioafu: Your receipt, please.
Dabao: (shows the receipt )
Here you are, I have paid my tax in the tax service center by computer.
Xiaofu: Great! What a good taxpayer you are.
Dabao: Thank you. It is my duty. I’m proud of myself to pay the tax for our country.
Xiaofu: Yeah! The tax you paid is a share of our country’s economy, and you do a lot for Olympics of Beijing!
Dabao: Let’s do it together! . It’s said that, Don't ask what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country. Just like me, sell Yangrouchuan, and pay the Tax for ten years more.
Xiaofu: You 're the loveliest people in new century!
Dabao: Thank you! And you 're the loveliest tax collector in new era!
X: Excuse me, and I have to go now. Bye-bye.
D: A moment, are you free tomorrow evening? Could I have a dinner with you?
Xiaofu: Well, may I have the company of my husband?
Dabao: No, no, no problem. 6 o’clock in the evening, Beichuanyuan, ok?
Xiaofu: just a kidding. I have to go home now.(leaves)
Dabao, See you tomorrow.
Dabao: Hope to see you everyday.
The End
“小品”“相声”的英文怎么说
小品英文翻译：sketch[例句]A natural comedian from his early days performing in revue sketches at the Edinburgh festival, Grant adopts an ironic tone about his work as well as his personal life.在早期的爱丁堡艺术节讽刺小品中，格兰特已经展现出喜剧天才。 对工作和生活，他都极尽自嘲。相声英文翻译：cross talk[例句]Our performances are different to the cross talk performed in theatres, Li says. 我们的表演与剧场相声有所不同，他说。
求英语6人小品
人物介绍：西门吹雪（X），叶孤城（Y），King(K).花满楼（H）
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
Birdsaredancinginthecold .
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
Windiscominginsilence.
Another mysteriousmanapproaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !
Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?
X:Yes,whatiswrong?
Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?
X:Great, youknowme !
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!
X:No, Imustkillyou !
Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
X:I’msureIwon’t!
Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The “WC”?
Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!
H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha……
H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
Y:Yes,It’sverygood.
H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!
Y:Ok,Let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.
K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?
Y: Yes,Ido.
K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!
K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?
Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)
K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?
Y:How clever……
X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!
Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!
X:Forgiveme? Why?
Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!
X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!
Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)
K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?
X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.
K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou
haveavacation.
Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……
Y:Hahaha-----
H:Where’ssomewhere?
K:What?
Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
H顶着摇头：X,no, no， youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !
K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !
H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.
K惊讶: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?
Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
H扑倒在X的身边：X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !
K:what amoving story !I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !
(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，K吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:gohome ! ?
H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor... promise meyou will survive... that youwillnevergiveup... nomatter what happens... no matter howhopeless... promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.
H: I promise .
X:Never let go .
H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,
X.I''''''''ll never letgo.(X死)
H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! （H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。）
4人短,简单的英语小品
《男孩和他的树》
a boy and his tree
a long ago,there was a huge apple tree.a little boy love to come and play
around it everyday.he climbed to the tree top,ate the apples,took a nap under
the shadow…he loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.time went
by…the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree
everyday.
one day,the boy came back to the tree and he looked.
"come and play with me ,"the tree asked the boy .
"i am no longer a kid,i don't play around trees anymore."the boy
replied,
"i want toys.i need money to buy them."
"sorry,but i don't have money…but you can pick all my apples and sell
them.
so,you will have money."the boy was so excited .he grabbed all the apples on
the tree and left happily.the boy never came back after he picked the apples.the
tree was sad.
one day,the boy returned and the tree was so excited.
"come and play with me ,"the tree said.
"i don't have time to play.i have to work for my family.we need a house for
shelter.can you help me?"
"sorry,but i don't have a house .but you can chop off my branches to build
your house."so the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.
the tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since
then.
the tree was again lonely and sad.
one hot summer day,the boy returned and the tree was delighted.
"come and play with me !"the tree said.
"i am sad and getting old.iwant to go sailing to relax myself.can you give a
boat?"
"use my truck to build your boat.you can sail faraway and be happy."
so the boy cut the tree truck to make a boat .he went sailing and never
showed up for a long time.
finally,the boy returned after he left for so many years.
"sorry,my boy.but i don't have anything for you anymore.no more apples for
for you…“the tree said.
"i don't have teeth to bite."the boy replied.
"no more truck foe you to climb on."
"i am too old for that now."the boy said.
"i really can give you anything…the only thing left is my dying roots."the
tree said with tears.
"i don't need much now,just a place to rest.i am tired after all these year"
the boy replied.
"good!old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest.come,come sit
down with me and rest."the boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with
tears……
this is a story of everyone.the tree is our parent.when we were young,we
loved to play with mom and dad……when we grown up,we left them…only came to them
when we need something or when we are in trouble.
no matter what,parents will alway be there and give everything they could to
make you happy.
you may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that how all of us are
treating our parent.time is too slow for those who wait,too swiftfor those who
fear,too long for those who grieve,too short for those who rejoice,but for those
who love,time is eternity.
两人的英语笑话或小品[3-5分钟]
Feel Unhappy.心里难受
Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?
Father: Of cause, it is.
Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.
Father(angrily): What? You------
儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？
父亲：那当然！
儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。
父亲(气愤地)：什么？你……
It’s not that. 不是那样的。
A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.
B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.
A: No, it wasn’t raining.
A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。
B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！
A：不是，当时并没有下雨。
Compare other things？比一下其他？
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？
儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,
初一英语小品剧本
刚看到你的求助,晚了点不好意思哦~这个剧本有点短呵呵,A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to die.
B:get away,get away,dirty man.
A:sir,sir!
B:run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,either.
C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he?
A:but.sir.please listen to me.
B:wa,why are you so disgusting!
C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid.
E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.
E:sir!you lost your wallet!can't you be more clever?
F:good morning,everybody.I'm a jonrnist F.Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint.now,I will intenview the two nozzy man.
B:wo,my god,wo,my,mum.
F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad.we needn't take notice of him.let me interview the other man,hello,man,can you tell men why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet?
A:I'm sorry,I don't know how to speak "钱包" in english.
F:dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us.is that all right,chair?
E:yes,yes.
C:ai,men is so silly.
初一英语小品剧本
呵呵，刚看到你的求助，晚了点不好意思哦~这个剧本有点短呵呵，A:sir,sir,please give me a piece of bread.thank you,sir.I'm hungry to die.
B:get away,get away,dirty man.
A:sir,sir!!
B:run away,please run away.I have no food,and I don't have money,either.
C:hey,xiao D,he is so foolish,isn't he?
A:but....sir....please listen to me.....
B:wa,why are you so disgusting!!
C:hey,chair,do you feel the man sat on you a moment ago is very stupid.
E:ai,pretty flower,do you know,men are always very silly.
E:sir!you lost your wallet!can't you be more clever?
F:good morning,everybody.I'm a jonrnist F. Today I saw a very weird thing--a chair open her mouth,and two men are frightened to faint.now,I will intenview the two nozzy man.
B:wo,my god,wo,my,mum.
F:I'm sorry to tell you this man has been mad.we needn't take notice of him.let me interview the other man,hello,man,can you tell men why didn't you tell him he lost his wallet?
A:I'm sorry,I don't know how to speak "钱包" in english......
F:dear audience,through this thing we can learn that how improtant it is to mastery a foreign language,and how lagre the money affect us.is that all right,chair?
E:yes,yes.
C:ai,men is so silly.
4人英语小品，要简短
The little girl liked wearing a red coat. So everybody called her Little Red Coat.
One day, her grandma had a cold. Her mother said to Little Red Coat, “my dear, send some bananas and cakes to your grandma.”
As she walked through the forest, a wolf saw her, “Hello, litter girl. Where are you going?”
“I’m going to my grandma’s house. She has got a cold.” Said Little Red Coat.
“Where does she live?” asked the wolf.
“She lives in the house near the forest. There are some big trees in front of her house.” Said Little Red Coat.
“Bye-bye, little girl.” The wolf ran to the grandma’s house.
Grandma asked, “Who is it?”
“It’s me, Little Red Coat.” said the wolf.
“Come in, please.”
The big wolf opened the door and walked into the room. He ate Grandma up.
He put on Grandma’s coat and trousers. Then he lay in bed.
Little Red Coat walked into her grandma’s room.
“What big eyes you have got, Grandma!” she said.
“Because I want to see your pretty face.”said the wolf.
“What a big mouth you have got, Grandma!”she said.
“Because I want to eat you, my dear.”said the wolf.
“Oh, no!”cried the little girl.
The bad wolf ate Little Red Coat, too.
The wolf was sleeping on Grandma’s bed.
At this time, a hunter came and saw the wolf. “What a big stomach he has got! Grandma must be in his stomach.”thought the hunter.
The hunter cut open the wolf. Grandma and Little Red Coat were still alive. They jumped out of the wolf.
Grandma and Little Red Coat were very happy. “Thank you.”they said to the hunter.
四人英语小品
SNOW WHITE CONTENTS
SW---白雪公主 Q---皇后 M---魔镜 H---猎人
P---白马王子 D---小矮人 A---小动物
音乐起，旁白
A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the kinggot married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel.
One day, In the king’s palace:
S.w: My name is S.w , I am a beatiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother? Where is my mother?
音乐起，皇后、魔镜出场
Q: I am a queen, I’m very beautiful,Where is Mirror?
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the most beautiful?
M: S.w is much more beautiful than you!
Q: Hunter, go kill S.w.
猎人出场
H: Yes, my queen
音乐起，小动物出场，追赶猎人，公主惊慌出逃
S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please
A: what’s the matter with you?
S.w: The hunter…hunter…
A: bite you bite you …
小动物追赶猎人下场
S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house ,
I will eat a little and lie down.
音乐起，7个小矮人出场，
D: 1/Look, somebody ate my food----
2/somebody drank my water----
3/someone is sleeping now----
4/What a beautiful girl!
小矮人睡觉----音乐起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----对话
5/How do you do?
S.w: How do you do? My name is S.w …
Nice to meet you!
D: （齐说）Nice to meet you ,too----
6/ welcome to our house!----
7/Would you like to live here?
S.w: My pleasure, thank you very much!
D: Let’s go out for our work, bye-bye, S.W
皇后、魔镜出场
Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who’s the most beautiful?
M: S.w is much more beautiful than you!
Q: What? S.w is not dead?
Hahaha, I got a good idea!
音乐起，皇后扮演老太太出场，对话
Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple,
S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma!
Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite?
S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma!
白雪公主咬一口后倒地
Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha…
小矮人出场、围着公主哭
S.w wake up, wake up…
音乐起，动物引着王子出场
P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen!
王子吻公主，公主醒了
S.w: Thank you for your help!
P: My pleasure
音乐起，小动物、小矮人、公主、王子跳起欢快的舞
白雪公主的怎样？加旁白的哦！！
有哪些搞笑的英文小品？
老妈叫我翻译!!!(超强爆笑)
今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思
老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？
我说：“我不知道”
老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！
我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！
老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍)
老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。
我说：是“我知道“
老妈：知道就快说。
我说：就是“我知道“
老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？
我说：就是我知道呀！
老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍)
老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？
我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧
这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“
我:“我很烦,别烦我“
老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)
老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“
我说:“我没听清,再说一次“
老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“
“我没听清,再说一次“
结果被扁
老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“
我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)
老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’
我说:“查字典“
“查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)
老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“
我说:“你最好问别人“
“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“
“啊!god save me !“
“上帝救救我吧!”
“耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)
我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“
我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“
“臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手
我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”
“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”【好笑不？】
要一个英语小品剧本，五个人，三分钟，能配上动作的，搞笑的
老鼠嫁女儿
角色(character):鼠爸爸（f）、太阳（sun）、云（cloud）、风（wind）、墙（wall）
Once upon a time, there was a mouse father. （很久很久以前，有一个老鼠爸爸）
He wanted to marry his daughter to the greatest person in the world. （他想要将他的女儿嫁给世界上最伟大的人）
But, who was the greatest person in the world? （但是，谁是世界上最伟大的人呢？）
Oh! The sun! He must be the greatest person in the world. （啊！是太阳！他一定是世界上最伟大的人） The mouse father went to talk to the sun. （老鼠爸爸就去找太阳说话）
f -------“Hello! Mr. Sun. I know you are the greatest person in the world. （哈啰！太阳先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？）
sun-------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the cloud. （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的应该是云） If he comes out, I’ll be covered.” （只要他一出现，我就被遮住了）
The mouse father went to talk to the cloud.（老鼠爸爸就去找云）
f-------“Hello! Mr. Cloud. I know you are the greatest person in the world. （哈啰！云先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？） cloud------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the wind. （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的应该是风） If he comes out, I’ll be blown away.” （只要他一出现，我就被吹的远远的）
The mouse father went to talk to the wind. （老鼠爸爸就去找风）
f--------“Hello! Mr. Wind. I know you are the greatest person in the world.（哈啰！风先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？）
wind-------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is the wall. （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的应该是墙） If he comes out, I’ll be stopped.” （只要他一出现，我就被挡住了）
The mouse father went to talk to the wall. （老鼠爸爸就去找墙）
f-------“Hello! Mr. Wall. I know you are the greatest person in the world. （哈啰！墙先生，我知道你是世界上最伟大的人） Would you marry my daughter?” （你愿意娶我的女儿吗？）
wall------“What? I’m not the greatest person in the world. The greatest person is YOU, the mouse.” （什么？我才不是世界上最伟大的人呢！最伟大的其实是你们！是老鼠！）
f-------“The greatest person in the world is … mouse?” （世界上最伟大的人…是老鼠？）
wall-------“Yes, the greatest person in the world is mouse. See? If mouse comes out, I’ll be bit!” （没错！世界上最伟大的就老鼠.明白吗？如果老鼠来了，我就会被穿过）
要是这个你不喜欢的话还有这个http://wenku.baidu.com/link?url=zJ2JJsyQ5gUlB7N69jnFmGC5SgQ8gVdKWgmtp4_PX7cGFSixqoydwKX90hj-PRvHTn2cAm62dOT7V00pKS4WQF7PzxkuKWvJ_wQVlIx5tym
和这个http://www.show160.com/xiaopin/13635.htm
求一篇四人的英语小品剧本 五分钟左右 高中水平 谢谢
Little Red Riding Hood
第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家
Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）
Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing?
Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma.
Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok!
Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful.
Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy.
Mum： Bye-bye. Darling.
第二场：在路上
(一阵轻快的音乐由远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)
Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers.
Wolf：（wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)
Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill.
Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks.
Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞)
Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）
Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you?
Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going?
Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye.
Six Ducks：Goodbye．
第三场：Grandma家
Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。）
Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．
Grandma： Who is it？
Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood.
Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in.
Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you.
Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上）
灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep.
Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma．
Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？
Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!
Wolf：Come in， Come in.
Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears!
Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.
Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!
Wolf：I can see you pretty face.
Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.
Wolf：I can hug you.
Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands?
Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!
Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No!
Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping.
Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping.
Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声)
Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌子上拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut.
Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you．
Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones．
Grandma： (从桌子上拿来针线)
Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three.
Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里)
Grandma： I'll thread it.
Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up!
Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy.
Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms!
Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me!
Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang!
Wolf： (应声倒下)
Hunter： The bad wolf is dead．
Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you．
回答者： 郑爽
英语搞笑小品,两人,4分钟
中学英语小品-Little Red Riding Hood
Little Red Riding Hood：Ashley（需有舞蹈动作） Dad：Lan Foxes：Wison Tim
Ducks：Suzy Vivian（需有舞蹈动作） Wolf：Daisy Hunter：Linda Grandpa：Bruce
：Little Red Riding Hood家 音乐1起
Dad： (爸爸拿着一个篮子,把桌子上的水果放在篮子里）
Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌,欢快地跑进来）Hi, dad, what are you doing?
Dad： （一边把水果放在篮子里,心事重重地说）Grandpa is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for
Grandpa. Take them to Grandpa.
Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子,边点头说）Ok!
Dad： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful.
Little Red Riding Hood： Yes , dad．Goodbye, dad.
Dad： Bye-bye. Darling.
(一阵轻快的音乐2由远而近,Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地)
Little Red Riding Hood: Wow, So many flowers, how beautiful!
Fox A: Hi, little girl. what are you doing here? There is a wolf here.
Little Red Riding Hood: I am going to grandma’s home.
Fox B: Be careful!It must like to eat you.
Little Red Riding Hood: oh, really?
Fox A: Yes, he’s very cruel.
Little Red Riding Hood: Thank you very much!
Foxes: Take care of yourself! Bye-bye!
(Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子继续蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁)
Little Red Riding Hood： I like the pink flowers! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three
flowers...
Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐3,Wolf大步地走上台）I am a wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望)
Here is a little girl. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和
Little Red Riding Hood打招呼)
Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子,天真地回答)To Grandpa’s．Grandpa is ill.
Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandpa. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little
baby ducks. Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后）
音乐4起
Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks,How are you?
Duck A: We are fine. Thank you. Can we help you?
Little Red Riding Hood：No thank you.
Duck B: What are you doing here?
Little Red Riding Hood：Grandpa is ill. I am going to grandpa’s home.
Duck A: Oh, you should be careful. There is a wolf.
Little Red Riding Hood：Yes, foxes told me. Oh, I must go to grandpa’s home now, bye.
Duck B：Goodbye.( Little Red Riding Hood下场,ducks随后下场)
Grandpa:（喘着气出场,颤颤悠悠地走到床前,坐到床边,喘了几口,打几个哈欠,慢吞吞地躺倒在床上.）
Wolf：（从树后出来,边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’s house? (高兴
地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang．
Grandpa： Who is it?
Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音,一边得意地摇动尾巴）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood.
Grandpa： (边说边起床) Come in, e in.
Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you.
Grandpa： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服,瞪着眼睛,边叫迫从床上滚到地上）
灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里.
Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子,翘起大拇指）Yummy!I’ll sleep.
Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandpa．Grandpa．
Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it?
Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me.Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise!
Wolf：Come in, Come in.
Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来,把篮子放在桌上,走到床前看,跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears!
Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice.
Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes!
Wolf：I can see you pretty face.
Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand.
Wolf：I can hug you.
Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前,拉起Wolf的手,边摸边说）Look! What a big hands?
Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you!
